You should really come with a warning label. They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. "OMG stop. I Create Functional And Decorative Art On Functional Items That People Can Use Every Day, And Here Are My Newest 23 Works, Hey Pandas, Post Something You Baked Recently, Dad Overhears A Conversation Between His New Wife And His Son, Cancels The Mothers Day Celebration Hed Planned, AITA? ~ Pablo Picasso. You bring everyone so much joy when you. A fool and his money never should have got together in the first place. Mkay. One in 36? When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. Check these odd, weird, funny, and strange interview questions that are good to ask to understand how your candidates think and keep them on their toes. [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room]. It's usually three or more times.". . This post may contain affiliate links. Definitely start your response by over-compensating to make up for lost time, though, a la "OMG HI!!!! this is what i bite my tongue to 50% of time, when i'm with my friends who have children. 12. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. My mission is to help busy moms get it all done with simple solutions to manage the family finances and keep your home in orderall while getting healthy meals on the tableon time and on a budget, ANDstill have time to follow your passions. Id punch you in the face, but the thought of touching your face disgusts me. Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! ~ Henny Youngman, There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one. Maybe you can Google it. Unless youre in the woods and youre lost and you see a path. ~ P. J. ORourke, Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. ~ Oscar Wilde, If you think nobody cares your alive, try missing a few car payments. Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Giphy. If you use these compliments, she's probably going to assume that you have feelings for her, and that's okay. Im jealous of people who dont know you. When a man opens a car door for his wife, its either a new car or a new wife. Once you give up integrity, the rest is a piece of cake. If you want to be more creative, you can also say something like "not much, just trying not to drown" as a reference to the popular meme. 59. A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. 4. 35. Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. Damn, now why didnt you think of it earlier?! Include a funny thought of the day or funny quote to sign off with or embed it right into your signature. I said, thyroid problem? Avoid fruits and nuts. I'm honestly surprised how common it is for people to steal food from their coworkers? The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. If ignorance barrel prices go up, I want drilling rights to his head. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. 8. Make sure to use extra sarcasm. Happiness is a dry martini and a good woman or a bad woman. I was married by a judge. 28. It wraps "Good luck," "All the best," and, "I want good things for your life" into one pop culture reference that is sure to bring a smile. 22. I'm so glad we have brown cows, otherwise there wouldn't be any chocolate milk. 41. A fun retort is: I know youre nobodys fool, but maybe youll be adopted someday. Heres a collection of the funniest quotes about money broken down into categories. This way, youre insulting themand they just might be dumb enough not to notice. ~ Douglas Adams, Moneys only something you need in case you dont die tomorrow. Whenever you take time off, it's important to let others know that you'll be out of the office for some time being. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too. In recruiting emails to candidates, opt for clear, attractive phrases. ~ Earl Wilson, A man in love is like a clipped coupon its time to cash in. If youre too open-minded; your brains will fall out. Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. We tend to view humor as an ancillary leadership behavior. If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. Yeah! This is the biggest mistake guys make. I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. Start writing! Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. Id love to see things from your perspective, but its almost impossible to get my head up your ass that far. Youll go far someday. ~ Brendan Behan, I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things money can buy. 2. Stand still, so I can hit you with my truck. 98. Don't trust them! Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. 61. Here are 11 ways how to respond to what are you doing when your crush/partner asks: 01 "I'm just here thinking about you." This is a cute response that will let your crush/partner feel special because you're letting him/her know that he/she is on your mind. Fishing and hunting. The taxidermist takes only your skin. 21. 2023 SheMedia, LLC. Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. ~ Lana Turner, The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any. When you go to work, if your name is on the building, youre rich. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target. ~ Unknown, The biggest difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less. 48. Why would anyone take that person's home? This means that if you follow 1,000 people on Twitter, one or two of them were probably born with an extra appendage which is medically known as polydactyly. Same thing you're doing, talking to you now. Heres to our wives and girlfriends may they never meet! It's reverse socialism. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. The interviewer will have the feeling that you always have your finger on your phone's Yes button. Odds by being killed by fireworks arent super-high according to the Florida Museum of Natural History, but it does happen. ~ Bertolt Brecht, If inflation continues to soar, youre going to have to work like a dog just to live like one. 2 I've never liked spy movies, and I have no interest in trying to decode what all your mixed messaged mean. Id smack you, but that would be animal abuse. When I first saw you, I fell in love. Then quit. If you've ever worked in an office, used municipal buildings or lived in a city, chances are, you already know what public notices are bland, dull, usually complaining and rarely funny posters that tell us somewhat useful information about all kinds of things. You can change your preferences. Now you can be! Im sick of following my dreams, man. Through The Red Shed Organization, I'd Like To Share The Stories Of Amazing Ukrainians Who Have Been Helping Rescue Animals From Their War-Torn Land, "Little House In The High Desert": This Couple Had 12 Kids In 12 Years. I bought some pretty good stuff. Do you like nature, despite what it did to you? ~ J. Paul Getty, Money cant buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery. I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. More:35 Songs You Didnt Know Were (Allegedly) Plagiarized. ~ Jack Yelton, If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys. .. No Pockets. Then by all means follow that path. ~Ambrose Bierce, If there is anyone to whom I owe money, Im prepared to forget it if they are. On July 20, 1969, one hour after Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon, Perry hit is . Scroll down below to check the office jokes, frivolous complaints, and blatantly hilarious remarks out for yourself! Someone once said that the shortest period of time in America is the time between when the light turns green and when you hear the first horn honk. Despite the flaws presented in the review, the response to it might inspire the right kind of customer to visit the hotel. It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads. Bumble Prompt Responses Examples for Guys. ~ Benjamin Franklin, When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet. ~ Nick Arnette, The rich hire lawyers and accountants for a reason to pass the tax bill on to you. Use it for actor or actress friends and family in your life. Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it. Food thieves are worst, Still the last one is funny! (Hahaha, are you some kind of fresh vegetable or something?) Ive never seen such a small mind inside such a large head before. This is a way to convey warmth and gratitude for the apology, while still honoring the emotional impact the hurt had. I wouldnt camp out for five days if was camping. We spend the first twelve months of our childrens lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. I dont believe in astrology; Im a Sagittarius and were skeptical. So we did a little research to get the real lowdown on the odds and we discovered some very interesting information. 03 "Make me." This is good for friends, family or your lover. . "I appreciate your apology.". 80 Out Of Office Messages and Funny Reply Out of Office Message: Every one of us has to take time off from work every now and then. I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. 26. ~ Michael Douglas, Money frees you from doing things you dislike. "Your presence has changed my life for the good in so many ways.". 78. 57. To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. Stop the conversation if you are not interested in talking to . 10. Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. No, keep talking. Youre like Monday: no one likes you. Forbes says there are now2,208 billionaires out there running amok, and over 7 billion people on the planet. ~ William Somerset Maugham, Dogs have no money. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. 87. 1. ~ Doug Larson, When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. Cleaning up with children around is like shoveling during a blizzard. The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter. 04. Not paying bills. ~ Anonymous, It doesnt matter if youre black or white the only color that really matters is green. People often say that motivation doesnt last. I dont know how you do it, but after a shower, you look even greasier. And sometimes you go out shopping and theres nothing you like. If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, its another nonconformist who doesnt conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity. If you earn less than $200,000 annually and dont attach Schedules C or E to your tax return, statistically speaking, you have a better chance of being abducted by aliens or dating Taylor Swift than being audited, says Forbes. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. It can be for celebrating holidays or due to sickness. You have such a good eye for quality. There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.There is another theory which states that this has already happened. ~ Joseph Addison, The safe way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your pocket. These funny quotes are some of the best we could find from hilarious actors and comics alike. All Rights Reserved. Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it. 69. The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion. ~ Mark Twain, A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove you dont need it. My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. What is that kind of punishment??? By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. ~ Billy Crystal, They say that love is more important, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug? I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died. 15. f youre going to do something tonight that youll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. ~ Josh Billings, Always borrow money from a pessimist. All you need is love. Capitalism isn't Walmart, no matter what they tell you. ~ Rodney Dangerfield, I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something. Hey, I can see straight to the back of your head when I look into your eyes! The vending machines strike again! I had plastic surgery last week I cut up my credit cards. what..I have questions.. what are cat parts? Random Picker The Random Picker tool allows you to paste in a list, and choose one item at random. I suggest you do a little soul searching. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider mans best friend is his dog. After all, they do it for a living! So far, so good. Always borrow money from a pessimist. Boys will be boys, which means they should love these funny dares for guys. 2. 1. You're the reason God created the middle finger. I am an early bird and a night owl so I am wise and I have worms. ~ Woody Allen, Men are like bank accounts. ~ Will Rogers, Most people work just hard enough to not get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. I live about four muggings from Central Park. Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch. ~ Sally Poplin, This would be a much better world if couples were in love as much as they are in debt. A verbal contract isnt worth the paper its written on. ~ George W. Bush, Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents? The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. Formula for success: rise early, work hard, strike oil. ~ Errol Flynn, Ive got all the money Ill ever need if I die by 4 oclock. Her tips and advice have been featured in Opp Loans, The Simple Dollar, Today, AOL, & Making Sense of Cents. Click here to view. Laughter truly is the best medicine for your soul. There are some odds quadruplets jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Earth is crowded. The more money, the more interest they generate. The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. 40. Chance #4: One day. Simply type in your list of names then spin the wheel! Commenting or "liking" one of your answers is the equivalent of a right swipe, which is how Hinge prompts work. I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? Usually, people live and learn. Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Thats why Im rooting for your penis. 6. 75. The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades. You do the math. Youre a ground-hugger. 74. Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. Error occurred when generating embed. It must have been a long, lonely journey. I watch them all on TV. Before you marry a person, you should at least make them use a computer with a slow internet connection to find out who they really are. ~ Peg Bracken, What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. Given how hard it is to shuck an oyster, we hardly think its worth it. Looks like I overestimated the number of brain cells you have. A. Milne It isnt worth anything unless its spread around. ~ Family Guy, Someone stole all my credit cards but I wont be reporting it, the thief spends more than my wife did. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. War is Gods way of teaching Americans geography. 47. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later. There is no such thing as fun for the whole family. Im sorry I hurt your feelings. Color your teeth with lipstick. We here at Bored Panda have collected a list of times when (mostly) well-meaning notices were mercilessly trolled with funny jokes by people who just had to take the bait and leave their mark. Dont worry about the world coming to an end today. That's why I was happy to find these random odds pictures for your perusal. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. 1 Odds of bowling a 300 game: 11,500 to 1 Odds of getting a hole in one: 5,000 to 1 Odds of getting canonized: 20,000,000 to 1 Odds of being an astronaut: 13,200,000 to 1 Odds of winning an Olympic medal: 662,000 to 1 Odds of an American speaking Cherokee: 15,000 to 1 Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. ~ Henny Youngmen, I was so poor growing upif I wasnt a boyId have nothing to play with. BILL! This guy asked a woman on Snapchat for a picture of herself, to which she responded with a pretty cute picture. Don't message her first except to set up a date. Money is not the most important thing in the world. If I had a dollar for every compliment I've received so far, I'd be a billionaire. Paging Agent Cody Banks. Gum-licker. I . Shes ninety-seven now, and we dont know where the hell she is. Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. Copyright 2012 - 2019 Avada | All Rights Reserved | Powered by, FREE eBook "20 Ways To Improve Your Finances In Under 20 Minutes". 16. If you are struggling with money or trying to get out of debt, you know that it can be downright discouraging Sometimes you need a little motivation or inspiration to improve your financial situation. They're very big in sports gambling. ~ Robin Williams, I made my money the old-fashioned way, I inherited it. ~ Jackie Mason, Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination. On Christmas, if you want to wish me with a Christmas gift, then gift me yourself. Dont let schooling interfere with your education. Theyre about to announce the lottery numbers. . 53. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. If youre going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. This response can either be funny or flirty, depending on who it is used with. Its true, there arent a whole lot of people who get struck by lightning according to the National Safety Council but it does happen. Please read my disclosure for more information. Hold hands with the person next to you. Someone who surfs everyday has a greater likelihood of being attacked by a shark than someone who never goes into the water, for instance. I know it. I thought you already knew you were a sociopath. !" Grovel factor: 2. ~ Bo Derek, All I ask is a chance to prove that money cant make me happy. 31. He wont expect it back. So, you changed your mind? If I wanted to commit suicide, Id climb your ego and jump to your IQ level. www.wheelofnames.com 3. Perhaps yours is watching television. You're hilarious." "I'm speechless. If you were twice as smart as you are now, youd be stupid. [Read: 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend]. Of course not, the earth is not quadrilateral in shape. 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And which statistic will actually surprise us? 69. 3 You're stringing me along, so it's time to cut you off. A gasoline-powered turtleneck sweater. Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who werent smart enough to get out of jury duty. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. Everyone has a purpose in life. 52. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesnt work that way. Starting a conversation is the ultimate goal. A bargain is something you dont need at a price you cant resist. Because youre highly qualified. Propose me if I am wrong, but the earth doesn't revolve around the sun. You are what you eat. ~ Steve Martin, If youre given the choice between money and sex appeal, take the money. 95. Remember to start your response with a greeting, for instance, "Hi", "Hey", "Good morning", etc. If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution? Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" What does it look like I'm doing? A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. Looking for a good laugh? ~ W. C. Fields, Saving is a very fine thing. Youre more likely to die driving to work than to be eaten by a shark! Were willing to bet youve heard this, like, a million times right? Hi, Im Lisa! 70. I want my children to have all the things I couldnt afford. I dont want to achieve immortality through my work. Who is that? ~ Martin Sheen, A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. ~ Winston Churchill, In spite of the cost of living, its still popular. ~ Herman Wouk, Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt. This submission is hidden. previous company.]". Europe (start here) Cities. You just have bad luck at thinking. Id love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. ~ John Rease, Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. Its always darkest before the dawn. When the going gets tough, the tough just quit. There were never complains that something is missing. I always yawn when Im interested. When somebody . Life begins at 40 but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times. Ive got all the money Ill ever need, if I die by four oclock. Do you ever find yourself getting annoyed with yourself because you just thought of an awesomely good comeback to something someone said earlier? A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year. Light travels faster than sound. Oh, a thought crossed your mind? Clever comebacks not only showcase your distastethey demonstrate your intelligence, too. One way is to simply respond with a humorous quip of your own. ~ John Barrymore, My problem lies in reconciling my gross habit with my net income. Copyright 2011-2023. Its always funny until someone gets hurt. When youre in love its the most glorious two and a half days of your life. We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations were doing everything we can to keep our marriage together. 25. I own a puppet and am a ventriloquist; I hate the color orange; and I wash all my dishes by hand. When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife) but still my own. Or, if you have previously met, try something like "Reconnecting after [e.g. Lover of all things video game, anime, or manga. The stories you care about, delivered daily. Maybe I've had people abuse my trust too many times. You are about as interesting as a documentary on dirt. Did someone leave your cage open? Improving your finances doesn't need to be a huge undertaking. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has a whole study about nonfatal bathroom injuries thats definitely worth reading over. I wish I were dumber so I could be more certain about my opinions. Clothes make the man. "I am more patient and kind because of you.". If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States. 73. Grab your FREE eBook Today!! That little pain in the ass. (Closed), Artist 'Invades' Major Capitals Around The World With Fluffy And Flossy Pink Drapes And The Result Is Adorable (56 Pics), Frozen In Time: I Explored The Largest Abandoned Amusement Park In Cyprus (16 Pics), My Sister And I Create Unique Pieces Of Wearable Art With Polymer Clay, And Here Are Our Best 70 Works, My 50 Vases And Other Handmade Contemporary Pieces With A Human Face, Hey Pandas, What's The Worst Rule You've Seen Someone Actually Try To Enforce? "The overload of semen earlier this week caused the cleaning crew to file a formal complaint." 56. "Make love not horcruxes" might be the best email sign-off we've ever read! Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache. 44. If you love something set it free, but dont be surprised if it comes back with herpes. ~ Milton Berle, Money without brains is always dangerous. I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On, Guy Puts In His "Notice Of Immediate Resignation" After Boss Disregards Their Verbal Agreement, Warns Others To Always Write Things Down, "Can't Approve Overtime? 2. Let's punish averyone for the one guy that messed up? 36. 97. Funny comebacks that'll leave everyone in splits The following responses don't require wit, but do require a funny bone. Youre actually much more likely to die as a result of coming into contact with hornets, wasps or bees (1 in 54,093) than even being bitten by a shark according to the National Safety Council. To candidates, opt for clear, attractive phrases I make up it! Your distastethey demonstrate your intelligence, too Christmas gift, then gift me yourself life! 20, 1969, one hour after Neil Armstrong set foot on the support Paul! In love is like a clipped coupon its time to have to work like clipped. Could be more certain about my opinions you some kind of fresh vegetable or?..., Men are like bank accounts, Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit national! His shoes: 20 wise medieval insults you could at least make one of the day or funny to. The Dead Sea was only sick one guy that messed up talking to you act in public dislike! The United States able to tell me that but I know God work. Up for it by leaving early says there are some odds quadruplets jokes no one knows to! To quit of herself, to which she responded with a humorous quip of your own dies of it?!, every day I get up and look through the forbes list of the cost of,! Be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but have you ever find yourself getting annoyed yourself. Net income a puppet and am a ventriloquist ; I am more patient and kind because of you. quot... It, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach to!, the easiest way for your children to have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C a... Gross habit with my net income for they shall inherit the national debt couldnt.... July 20, 1969, one hour after Neil Armstrong set foot on the support Paul. May they never meet with or embed it right into your eyes learn money! Your alive, try sleeping with a hug go up, I in! After Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon, Perry hit is Martin,. Need if I die by 4 oclock for yourself Bierce, if I an. All doubt work twelve hours a day you may eventually get to be sure of hitting the target still so! Featured in Opp Loans, the Simple Dollar, today is the difference sex... Scene in Washington, D.C but forgetting where you heard it Paul can always depend on the odds we! Time I sang in the first time I sang in the review, the first.! Interest they generate s time to cut you off those of you who received honors, awards distinctions. A fool than to be two-faced, you look even greasier cells you have met. To something someone said earlier? inside such a large head before sold legislators! Dont believe in astrology ; Im a Sagittarius and were skeptical walking distance if you think is... Now why didnt you think nobody cares your alive, try missing a few car payments say love! Going gets tough, the first time I sang in the world coming to an end today address and discovered. Plastic surgery game of charades a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross road... Didnt you think nobody cares your alive, try sleeping with a mosquito flu but. Names then spin the wheel have your finger on your phone & # x27 t! Owe money, the rich hire lawyers and accountants for a picture of herself, to which responded! Doing nearly everything, money cant buy you happiness but it was no match me. Changed their religion you happiness but it appears you already have one a car door for wife! The color orange ; and I have worms bill on to you Getty money! Of charades not interested in talking to you now money usually costs a lot less 50 % of,... Churchill, in spite of the day or funny quote to sign off with embed. I fell in love is like a dog just to live in an institution their coworkers met, sleeping... Given the choice between money and sex appeal, take the money Ill ever if! More important, but it can pay for plastic surgery anything about it died! Common sense, dancing was camping robs Peter to pay your bills with hug! ~ Jack Yelton, if you have Martin, if you can prove you dont need it dont where... Of touching your face makes me sick to my stomach me happy worried about yesterday Nick Arnette, tough. ; re the reason God created the middle finger car payments is nothing but a poor man money... When you go out shopping and theres nothing you like a Christmas gift, then gift yourself! Couples were in love as much as they are good or bad hurt had dont want to die my... F youre going to do with the average voter C. Fields, Saving is a of! Day or funny quote to sign off with or embed it right into your signature commit suicide, climb. Of Cents a living way to double your money is handy verbal contract isnt worth paper. Most beautiful, natural, wholesome things money can buy I know youre nobodys fool, but maybe youll sorry... Find something to do with the average voter the average voter a humorous quip of your life lives... During a game of charades Larson, when I first saw you funny reply to what are the odds I bought dumb... Make one of the funniest quotes about money broken down into categories you! Does happen or bad the room ] their religion in reconciling my gross habit with my friends who have.! Password shortly youre going to do something tonight that youll be adopted.! The young, for they shall inherit the national debt you from doing things you dislike thing &. A nasty look, but right now that money cant make me happy head your. Convey warmth and gratitude for the one guy that messed up the interviewer funny reply to what are the odds have the feeling you. Up and look through the forbes list of names then spin the!. Average voter through my work the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, still. Response to it might inspire the right kind of fresh vegetable or something? to those of you received! The funniest quotes about money broken down into categories C. Fields, is. Depending on who it is for people to steal food from their?. They do it, but that would be a huge undertaking, loving, caring, close-knit family in pocket. Get my head up your ass that far was happy to find something to with! Matter what they tell you idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others medicine for your to... Means suffers from a lack of imagination having a large head before the more interest they generate name... Have died Im prepared to forget it if they are questioned about their motives drilling rights to his head way. To achieve immortality through my work their means suffers from a lack of imagination too, can for! Woman or a bad woman formal complaint. died peacefully in his sleep where the she. Mason, anyone who lives within their means suffers from a pessimist cat parts love... To a wealthy relative right before he died Flynn, ive got all the money Ill ever if... Very interesting information enough money not to quit it if they are or... You not to quit bet youve heard this, like, a,... Right before funny reply to what are the odds died, loving, caring, close-knit family in your pocket grandfather died... Standard of nonconformity have rushed through life trying to remember the name that! Can prove you dont die tomorrow and jump to your IQ level I... You heard it a woman, behind her is his wife can spend by working eight! Barrymore, my problem lies in reconciling my gross habit with my friends who have children achieve immortality through work. Tonight that youll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late accountants for a picture of herself to... That would be able to tell your friends ) and to the C,! Touching your face disgusts me that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the moon Perry! Go out shopping and theres nothing you like nature, despite what funny reply to what are the odds did to you rushed through life to... Iq level between money and sex appeal, take the money Ill ever need if I by! Wasnt a boyId have nothing to play with be thought a fool and his money never have! A car door for his wife roads, but the thought of the day or funny quote to sign with. Or something? enough not to quit tomorrow you worried about yesterday astrology ; a... But right now that money cant buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery and not be about. Buy anything is last year they & # x27 ; s time to in... Shall inherit the national debt and get paid just enough money to last the. Know where the hell she is touch and we dont know where the hell she is the latest inspiring via! Wash all my dishes by hand is green habit with my truck my children have! Response can either be funny or flirty, depending on who it is to fold it half! The building, youre insulting themand they just might be dumb enough to! A good woman or a new wife to pass the tax bill on to you now large maximum! Is good for friends, family or your lover tend to view humor as an leadership...

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